Many grief educators recommend journaling to heal and find solace in times of grief and pain. I wholeheartedly agree with them now, as I have discovered the cathartic power of journaling in my journey. It serves as a gateway to release the layers of pain and uncover the depths of healing. As I embrace this practice, I am reminded of the contemplations of David and Solomon in the Bible, finding healing through their words. While I may not possess the wisdom of David or Solomon, I am courageously excavating and sharing my own experiences, knowing that it may also bring healing to others.
Acceptance: Letting Go of the Uncontrollable
I woke up this morning to hear the devastating news of a plane crash that claimed the lives of three members of one family. We all stand to lose something or someone precious at least once in our lifetimes; for some, it’s happening all at once. It made me reflect on how my parents, despite facing illiteracy, poverty, crop loss, political violence, hurricanes, hunger, crime, and chronic illness in three family members, managed to stay balanced, held on to moments of joy and laughter, and raise four children even when the multiple losses came as avalanches. I still carry the scars of past sorrows. What is behind this resilience and defiance in the face of all odds?
Facing new grief each day can make the burden feel even heavier at times, leading to crippling anxiety. But after years of being trapped in this vicious cycle, I agree that there must be a better way to cope with past and present troubles.
For all their multiple daily trials, my parents exemplified resilience, courage, and faith. They believe Matthew 6:34 (MSG): “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” As I now understand them, these words encourage us to give our complete attention to the present moment and trust that God will provide the strength to face whatever challenges come our way in due time. This now resonates deeply with me, as I recall an image of my mother standing in the yard, washing clothes in a tub of soapy water while singing “One Day at a Time Sweet Jesus” at the top of her lungs. On the other hand, my father would sometimes break out into song, teaching me how to drum an accompanying rhythm on various surfaces. Both found solace and strength in these daily rituals, preparing them to face whatever hardships lay ahead. Fast forward to decades later, in the aftermath of Hurricane Beryl, my mother is in the devastation, singing that “his mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-24 MSG) as she is alive and breathing. Life has taught her to find joy through acceptance. I am learning.
Choice: Creating Our Rhythm
From their example, I learned that while we cannot control what life brings, we have the power to choose how we navigate each day. We can let the winds of circumstance sweep us away or set our rhythm, guided by resilience and faith daily. My parents chose to live in alignment with the rhythms of life, regardless of the sorrow they faced. They kept going, living, moving, and singing, trusting that God had their backs. On the days when I remember this truth, life feels bearable, but when I forget, I find myself fighting against the wind once again. We know that we are fighting the wind when we are exhausted and spent.
Rhythms: What needs are critical for you to find joy day?
What rhythms have you embraced to keep you in alignment?
I’ve realized that finding my rhythm doesn’t mean adhering to a strict schedule or living in inflexibility. Instead, it is about understanding that everything in creation has its cycle, its unique mapping of life. This concept of rhythm is widely studied across industries and resonates with Solomon’s musings in Ecclesiastes 1:9, which state that nothing is truly new under the sun. If you find this concept resonating with you as you read this blog, I encourage you to explore further and unearth its potential for your healing.
Needs: Nurturing Ourselves in Our Rhythms
Just as each plant in my backyard garden has its individual needs, I have discovered that I, too, have distinct physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Identifying and fulfilling these needs is critical to staying aligned and balanced, even if they seem contrary to what others expect of us. It may evoke concerns of people-pleasing, but I’ve come to understand that neglecting my own needs only leads to sickness and fragmentation of my mind, body, and soul. Through coaching, I have found the time and space to acknowledge my uniqueness and dive deep into uncovering what nourishment I truly need and from whom and where.
Embracing acceptance and choosing our rhythm are fundamental steps toward finding purpose and direction in our lives. While we cannot control life’s hardships, we have the power to determine how we respond and navigate each day. By understanding our needs and embracing our unique rhythms, we can cultivate a sense of wholeness and find joy amidst our circumstances. In the next part, we will delve deeper into the significance of patterns and routines in sustaining our alignment and discovering a life that brings us true fulfillment. Remember, dear reader, that you are not alone on this journey, and there is hope for transformation.
Let us step forward together, hand in hand, towards a future filled with clarity, joy, and abundance. If you are ready to embark on this sacred journey of healing and growth, I welcome you to connect with me for coaching. Your transformation begins with a single step, and I am here to walk beside you every step.
Note: The information provided here is not a substitute for individualized professional advice. If you are struggling with intense or prolonged feelings or difficult emotions during grief, it is recommended to seek support from a licensed mental health professional in your area.
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