Photo by Benjamin Davies on Unsplash

Today, we will explore the importance of patterns and routines in maintaining our sense of balance and discovering the joy of living authentically.

Needs: I see the rhythms in my backyard garden. Each of my beloved plants has individual needs. I certainly can’t treat my tomato like an eggplant or a watermelon. Once I discover my plant needs and create the right conditions, I set the rhythm in motion for the cycle of growth, joy, beauty, and fruitfulness.

How do I know what my needs are? That’s the gift of coaching. Through coaching, I found time and witness first to acknowledge that I am unique, so my needs are unique. I discovered who and whose I am, what nourishes me, and what keeps me productive. I changed my focus. The following categories helped me investigate what I need for nourishment, from who, and from where. We all live in rhythms and patterns. The question is, who wrote that script that you are living with and is it bringing you joy?

If what you are doing, who you are with, where you are, and what you are aiming for does not bring you joy, you may need to create new rhymes to break the cycle of despair.  Rhythms are changeable as long as you are alive and breathing, and His mercies stay new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22-24 MSG)

So, what are my basic physical, emotional, and spiritual needs? What is critical to my survival that I cannot ignore, even if it’s contrary to the others around me? The people-pleaser in you may start worrying about this. I have been there. What conditions do I need to fulfill to stay in alignment and balance? I know only too well how sick I get when I am not in balance.

Physical: movement, hydration, uninterrupted sleep, nutrition, digestion, elimination.

Emotional: feeling heard and validated, PLENTY of time alone to self-nourish.

Spiritual: time for contemplation, talking to God, and connecting with others with similar beliefs.

Daily rhythms are flexible and critical. Your rhythms may keep you going during periods of crisis and loss. I double down when my fear or anxiety tries to take over. I think this is what my coach, Nancy Levin, would call my “nonnegotiables”.  Over time, that has looked like this:

• It can be as short as taking a 20-minute walk once a day or as long as spending the entire day fussing about and drinking in the spring-summer delights in my backyard garden, weeding and tending.
• Talking out loud to God (this happens often at work when I get stressed).
• Humming/singing a tune of Faith over and over until the unbearable feeling/pain fades away.
• I make and eat dinner (uninterrupted) and attend to my digestion and elimination schedules, which means that there is nothing heavy to eat after 8 p.m.

When we stop attending to our unique needs, our soul, mind, and body feel off-kilter. We stop feeling whole, and we get sick.

Photo by Artem Sapegin on Unsplash

Each day, regardless of what is happening, I can be balanced, sane, and giving when I attend to my needs to the best of my ability.

Now that I know what my needs are, I can figure out how I’m going to meet these needs each day and what routines I can increase to help my rhythms. I nod at the survivorship of yesterday’s trauma, nod at the possibilities of tomorrow but dwell only on what is in front of me right now, and keep looking for the next breathing room, the next moment of joy. This helps me stay in gratitude, appreciation, and faith. From this practice, a song may even come to me spontaneously in weak moments. I get it now.

What needs are critical for you to meet each day?

What rhythms have you embraced to keep you in alignment? If you are an adult, It is your responsibility to discover and protect these to stay healthy and joyful. I had to relearn that I could not expect someone else to take care of these aspects of me.

If you are working on figuring out your needs, creating new rhythms, or eliminating old patterns of self-sabotage. That’s where we come in. Pick a coach who has been coached.

What new rhythms can you create to live better and feel better despite your circumstances? Knowing what we need and why we need it is the first step in creating a vision for truly living and finding the people who can support this version of us.

By delving into our unique needs across physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions, we can unlock the path to authentic living and inner balance. Just like tending to a garden with care and attention to individual plant requirements, nurturing our well-being involves recognizing and honoring what sustains and uplifts us. By establishing rhythms and routines that cater to these needs, we create a foundation for joy, growth, and resilience in the face of life’s challenges. It is a journey of self-discovery and self-care, where tuning into our inner rhythms guides us toward a more fulfilling and harmonious existence. Embracing new rhythms aligned with our true selves enables us to navigate through adversity with grace and gratitude, nurturing a sense of purpose and connection to those around us. As we uncover our needs and cultivate meaningful support patterns, we pave the way for a life lived with intention and vitality.

As you journey through the depths, seeking light in moments of darkness and solace in times of uncertainty, I extend an invitation to walk alongside each other on this path of self-discovery and healing. If you yearn for guidance and support in navigating the twists and turns of life, I am here to offer you a compassionate space to explore your innermost desires, fears, and dreams.

Together, we can uncover the rhythms and patterns that resonate with your soul, igniting a spark of hope and purpose within you. If you feel called to embark on a journey of growth and transformation, I invite you to reach out to open your heart to the possibilities that await when you embrace the power of faith and self-discovery.

Note: The information provided here is not a substitute for individualized professional advice. If you are struggling with intense or prolonged feelings or difficult emotions during grief, it is recommended to seek support from a licensed mental health professional in your area.

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